“Loneliness is like hunger, a signal we’re lacking something for survival”
Beyond Bedtime Stories: Waking Up to the Loneliness Epidemic in Adulthood
Remember bedtime stories? Those tales that transported us to other worlds, filled with magic, mystery, and profound lessons about the human experience? As children, these stories helped us make sense of the world and our place in it. But what happens when we grow up, and the fairy tales fade?
As adults, we face new challenges, anxieties, and questions. We yearn for narratives that reflect the complexities of our lives, stories that speak to our deepest fears and longings. Yet, often, we find ourselves navigating a world that feels increasingly disconnected, a world where loneliness has become a silent epidemic.
The Data Tells a Story of Dis-ease:
"Loneliness has been linked to a range of health problems, including heart disease, depression, and dementia." - Cigna Loneliness Study
"Loneliness is as lethal as smoking 15 cigarettes a day." - Julianne Holt-Lunstad
"Almost a quarter of the world feels lonely." - Gallup
These statistics paint a stark picture, but behind the numbers are real people struggling with disconnection. The Surgeon General's recent advisory highlights the urgency of addressing the loneliness epidemic, which affects millions of Americans and has profound consequences for our health and well-being.
But what if we looked at loneliness not just as an epidemic, but as a form of dis-ease?
Epidemiology, the study of disease, takes its root from the Greek terms epi (upon), demos (people), and logos (study).
It's a field dedicated to understanding the patterns, causes, and effects of health conditions within populations. As a certified public health (CPH) professional, I'm drawn to this broader perspective, seeking to understand the societal factors that contribute to the "dis-ease" of loneliness.
Furthermore, as a licensed psychotherapist with a Jungian focus, I'm also deeply interested in the individual experience of dis-ease. Jungian psychology emphasizes the importance of individuation, the process of becoming a whole person, integrating our conscious and unconscious selves. Loneliness, in this context, can be seen as a symptom of dis-ease within the psyche, a disconnect from our true selves and our place in the world.
Therefore, my work is twofold: to explore the societal dis-ease of loneliness through a public health lens, and to address the individual dis-ease of loneliness through the practice of Jungian psychotherapy. In both realms, I believe that storytelling is a powerful tool for healing and connection.
My Story: From Private Reflections to Public Narratives
My journey with BenTime Stories began with my own late-night reflections, born from the unique experiences of a child of Vietnamese-Chinese refugees navigating a new culture and a yearning for belonging. Those introspective nights weren't filled with fairytales, but with a burgeoning awareness of the dis-ease of disconnection, a feeling echoed in the rising loneliness I observed in the world around me.
This personal dis-ease propelled me to explore the complexities of human connection, leading me to become a social gerontologist, a public health social worker, and a psychotherapist. I sought to understand the epidemic of loneliness not just through personal reflection, but through the lens of public health, a field dedicated to understanding and addressing the dis-ease within populations.
The Loneliness Epidemic: A Deeper Dive into Dis-ease
Loneliness isn't just about being alone. It's about the felt experience of disconnection, the absence of meaningful relationships, and the yearning for belonging. It's a complex form of dis-ease with roots that run deep:
Individual Dis-ease: Internal factors like trauma, anxiety, and low self-esteem can create a sense of unease within us, making it difficult to connect with others. This is where therapy comes in, offering a space to explore and heal the roots of our individual dis-ease.
Societal Dis-ease: The erosion of community, increased mobility, and economic pressures create a sense of dis-ease within our society, making it harder to form and maintain meaningful connections. As Robert Putnam eloquently described in "Bowling Alone," the decline of the American community has contributed to this societal dis-ease.
Technological Dis-ease: While technology offers connection, it can also lead to comparison, FOMO, and superficial interactions, fostering a sense of dis-ease despite constant digital interaction.
Existential Dis-ease: The search for meaning and purpose in a rapidly changing world can leave us feeling adrift and disconnected from something larger than ourselves.
My Professional Journey: Bridging the Gaps
My professional journey has been guided by the principles of epidemiology, the study of the distribution and determinants of health-related states or events (including dis-ease) in specified populations, and the application of this study to the control of health problems.
2010-2024 | Community Health & Aging Social Work: Focus on aging and connection, exploring social determinants of health and community interventions. This work deepened my understanding of the social and environmental factors that contribute to loneliness, particularly among older adults.
2016-Present | Individual Psychotherapy: Providing individual therapy, addressing the psychological impact of loneliness, especially for marginalized and underrepresented groups. Through therapy, I've witnessed the power of storytelling and human connection in healing and transformation.
2018-Present: | Health Communication & the Opioid Epidemic Working on the the U.S Health and Human Services national SAMHSA Initiative, The Opioid Response Network, recognizing loneliness as a key contributing factor. This experience highlighted the devastating consequences of disconnection and the urgent need for community-based solutions.
Ongoing: Examining loneliness through a public health lens, advocating for policies and programs that promote connection and community well-being. I believe that addressing loneliness requires a multi-faceted approach that tackles both individual and systemic factors.
Finding Our Way Back to Connection
The loneliness epidemic, this pervasive sense of dis-ease, is a complex challenge, but there is hope. We can find our way back to connection and well-being by:
Prioritizing Relationships: Nurturing existing connections and making an effort to build new ones.
Engaging with Meaning: Finding activities and communities that align with our values and passions.
Practicing Vulnerability: Letting go of the pressure to be perfect and allowing ourselves to be seen for who we truly are.
Cultivating Community: Reaching out for help when we need it, whether through therapy, support groups, or community resources.
Two Paths Forward
Individual Healing: If you're struggling with loneliness and dis-ease, I invite you to connect with me for individual therapy. We can explore the roots of your disconnection and develop strategies for building more meaningful relationships.
Collective Exploration: Explore the resources and stories on this website to deepen your understanding of the loneliness epidemic. Together, we can create a more connected and compassionate world.
BenTime Stories: Illuminating the Unspoken
BenTime Stories is a space for highlighting stories and offering resources, with the ultimate vision to cultivate more community & connections. It's a space to explore the unspoken narratives of adulthood, to find meaning in our experiences, and to illuminate the path back to connection
Call to Action
Connect with me for individual therapy or to learn more about my workshops and groups.
Join the conversation about loneliness. Share your story and connect with others who understand.
Let's work together to rewrite the narrative of adulthood, one story at a time.